Enthusiastic, informed, ongoing agreement between adults. That is the standard this site will not negotiate. Sodomy’s legal history is full of cases that confused vice with violence. A modern health page has to unbraid them. Assault is assault whether or not a legislature once used a King James noun for it.
A checklist that fits on a card
- Everyone involved is an adult, and nobody is being quietly pressured by status, money, or fear.
- People have said what they want in words, not only in a vibe you decided to interpret.
- Anyone can stop, pause, or change the plan without a court of appeal.
- Intoxication: if someone cannot drive, they cannot consent to a new act. This is boring and correct.
- Safer-sex realities (barriers, testing, PrEP, pregnancy risk for other acts in the same encounter) are part of information, not a vibe-killer footnote.
- Aftercare is not sentimental extra credit. It is how you treat a nervous system.
Talking about anal sex specifically often needs more words, not because it is dirtier — because people are more likely to have learned it from jokes. “Have you done this before,” “do we have lube,” and “tell me if you want to stop” are glamorous enough.
Educational material, not a diagnosis, prescription, or legal opinion. Consenting adults only. Laws change; check primary sources and a licensed professional in your jurisdiction. If you are in danger, local emergency services come first.